Summer is here, and wedding season is officially in full swing.
Tarif and I recently attended a beautiful wedding. There were sunset vows, good food, and a DJ that had us on the dance floor way longer than we planned. You know I love a good line dance or two.
But somewhere between the “I dos” and the sparkler send-off, the conversation with a few of the guests turned real. I was asked if I believe in prenups. Without any hesitation, I said yes.
Cue the awkward silence.
Then the nervous laughter.
And finally, the honest questions came from the circle of friends:
- “Do you really need a prenup if you’re not rich?”
- “Isn’t that setting yourself up for divorce?”
- “Wait, can you even do one after you’re already married?”
These are all fair questions. There is a lot of misinformation out there about prenups and postnups. If we are being honest, it can be a tricky conversation to have.
Prenups and postnups aren’t about assuming the worst. They’re about building a marriage with intention. They can provide financial clarity and long-term peace.
So, what exactly is a prenup or postnup?
Let’s break it down:
- A prenup is a legal agreement made before the wedding.
- A postnup is signed after you’re already married.
- Both outline how you’ll handle things like:
- Property and debt
- Income and business ownership
- Financial assets
- Spousal support
- Inheritance plans
(It’s important to note that they don’t cover child custody as that is a separate document.)
Another myth is that you do not need a yacht or six-figure salary to justify having a prenup/postnup. If you have a business, kids from a previous relationship, assets, or even just a strong desire to be on the same financial page than these tools are for you.
Our story: why we had the conversation
Tarif and I didn’t have a prenup when we got married. We talked about it, but in full transparency, we were both building our careers, figuring things out, and (like many couples) had more love than assets back then.
However, this is a second marriage for both of us and we have children that we wanted to ensure that they were financially stable in the event of divorce or death. At the time, we chose to update our beneficiaries and wills to ensure that our kids would be in a good financial position.
Fast forward a few years our life changed quite a bit. We paid off student loans from grad school and could focus more on saving. We had a new little one with Kennedy, and we were planning to sell both of our individual houses for a home together. With a growing business, kids, real estate, and actual financial complexity, it was time to have the conversation again. Not because we were in crisis. Because we wanted to make decisions while we still liked each other.
(Highly recommend.)
We looked at a postnup not as a backup plan, but as part of our financial planning. It felt just as responsible as setting up life insurance or writing a will.
Here’s why more couples should consider it
💬 You’ve had career changes or windfalls
💬 One of you owns a business or property
💬 You’ve blended families or future inheritance concerns
💬 You just want to make things easier if life doesn’t go as planned
This isn’t about betting on failure, but it's about protecting peace. You insure your car, your house, your health. A prenup or postnup is just insurance for your relationship.
I often tell people that helping them build a strong financial foundation is the most rewarding part of my work. Growing your assets is important, but protecting what you’ve built matters just as much. Whether it’s insurance, estate planning, or even a prenup or postnup, a solid financial plan includes both growth and protection. It’s about making sure your money and your peace of mind are secure for the long run.
How to start the convo without killing the vibe
It doesn’t have to be heavy or transactional. Try:
“I’ve been thinking a lot about how we’re building wealth together. Maybe we should look at putting a plan in writing, just so we’re clear and protected.”
Or: “You know how we’re making all these smart money moves? This could be another one that gives us peace of mind.”
Talk early. Talk when things are good. Talk as partners. Then call us so we can help you discuss the plan.
Speaking as both a planner and a partner in marriage:
Love is a beautiful foundation. That’s what helps it stand the test of time. I’m eternally grateful that I’ve found my person, friend, and partner.
While I’m rooting for every couple, I am a numbers girl that knows the divorce rate continues to creep above 50% in this country. That number gets even higher for second and third marriages. So whether you’re planning a wedding, celebrating an anniversary, or simply building something meaningful with your person, please don’t shy away from the hard conversations. They’re part of what makes a strong financial future.
And if you need a guide who understands both the numbers and the nuance—I’m here.